DON’T BE A LUBBER: Basic Tips For Boat Guests

By Kristi Larson

It’s not too hard to figure out how to be a good houseguest: you just think about how you’d like your guests to behave when visiting your home and the rest comes pretty naturally. But if you don’t own your own boat and you haven’t done much boating, it’s harder to know how to behave as a boat guest. How long can you shower? What happens when the kitchen wastebasket is full? What’s that handle on the toilet for? For the inexperienced boater, clambering aboard a strange vessel is a little like venturing into a foreign country. A little thoughtful preparation on your part can make a big difference, not only in how much you enjoy the outing, but perhaps as importantly, in how much your hosts enjoy having you aboard.
So for those whose seafaring experience is somewhat limited, here are some suggestions culled from my years of experience as both host and guest. Adherence to these tips will ensure that your boat-owning friends will appreciate your company on board and look forward to cruising with you again.
 
Before You Get On Board
Express your enthusiasm and appreciation. First of all, assuming you like and trust your friends, accept the invitation with enthusiasm. That sounds like a no-brainer, but remember that this type of experience is something most people will never have. Being on the water can be great fun and good times, but to make it that way, your friends (we’ll call them the skippers) will go to a lot of trouble. Besides preparing their boat for the cruise, planning an itinerary, and purchasing supplies, they are responsible for the safety of everyone on board during the cruise as well as following the rules of the road, navigating, monitoring the boat’s systems and the environment, etc. So tell them how excited you are to join them on their boat, and let them know how much you appreciate the invitation. They will be gratified to know you understand and appreciate right from the start their efforts and the special nature of the adventure.
 
Ask what to bring. This is important, not only so that you are well prepared, but also so you can begin to take responsibility for stocking the boat with necessary supplies for the trip. On a boat, there are few rituals more important than the preparation of food and eating. (At least they have been on any boat I’ve ever been on!) Breakfast, lunch, and dinner punctuate each day and provide a structural framework for all other activities. In advance, talk with the skipper in charge of the galley and ask what food or drink you can contribute. If you don’t ask, you run the risk of duplicating supplies in the very finite space of the galley pantry, not to mention bringing items that simply don’t work, like baking supplies when there’s no oven.
If you can cook, you might offer to be responsible for certain meals and to bring the food you need to prepare those meals. In any event, offer to bring things to contribute to the boat and crew in general, such as food, drink, fishing tackle, or whatever else you can think of. But except for relatively small items, be sure to check with your skippers first.
We had one friend bring food for a long cruise without checking with us first. I had already stocked the galley in preparation, and then he arrived with some of his favorite foods: a slab of bacon that must have weighed 10 pounds, a cinder block-sized hunk of stinky Muenster cheese, a vat of mayonnaise, and a case of Twinkies. (His idea of a gourmet repast was a BLT done his way—bacon and cheese on toast washed down with a Twinkie.) Not only were his dietary preferences slightly different than ours, but there was simply no space in the galley for these Costco-sized containers.
It’s also important to be sure you understand what clothing to bring. Once, I assumed I would not need to bring my rain gear for cruising off the Turkish coast in September. The weather was clear and hot for the first six of our seven-day cruise. But on the seventh day we got caught in a violent storm with driving rain so fierce it took my breath away. It was lucky for me that another guest on that cruise had brought some extra rain gear. I would have been miserable without the borrowed slicker.
In the Pacific Northwest, where I do most of my boating, it is always smart to bring a warm jacket—even in the middle of summer. Maybe you’ll be fortunate enough to be told to bring your mask and snorkel instead, but wherever you go, be sure you’ve done your homework and brought clothing and gear appropriate for the occasion.

Don’t pack in a suitcase. Some old sailor once said that only a farmer would carry a suitcase onto a boat. This probably wasn’t meant to denigrate farmers—it’s just that anyone accustomed to a huge, roomy old farmhouse might not be aware of how limited storage space is on a boat.
I have to confess here. I did bring a suitcase on my recent cruise in Turkey. The cruise was only a portion of my entire itinerary on that trip, and I reasoned that I needed the stiff, rolling suitcase for the other parts of my trip. When I arrived at the boat, my friends and I spent about an hour jockeying things around, and we eventually did find a place to stow my suitcase for the week. But I can say, I suffered keen embarrassment over that incident and it will never happen again, even if I have to lug that collapsible duffel over my shoulder through every airport and train station in Europe.
On most boats, each bunk will have at least a clothes hammock, a drawer or two, or possibly some hanging locker space available for guests. Once your clothes are stowed away, a soft-sided bag can be rolled up and stuffed into any nook or cranny to get it out of the way. A hard suitcase, on the other hand, will be the bane of your skippers’ existence. Even if they are able to find a spot to stow it initially, your suitcase will almost certainly need to be moved at some point during your cruise to access something behind it. So if you don’t have a soft duffel bag, buy one. Or beg, borrow, or steal one.

Once You’re On Board The Boat
Ask how the heads work. I remember my dad talking about one guest who cruised with him on three different occasions. Remarkably, on each of these cruises, this guest’s toilet clogged. So on each cruise, my dad had to head back to a marina where the crew could use onshore facilities while he removed the toilet and then fussed with all the blackwater pipe fittings in the head and belowdecks trying to get the system running properly again. Needless to say, my dad, at least, sure didn’t have any fun on those trips. (Though my brothers and I did, as we speculated about the digestive system of this remarkable guest!)
Nothing will spoil a cruise for you and your hosts faster than a clogged toilet, so don’t be embarrassed to ask up front how to work yours properly. There are lots of different marine toilet systems and they each have idiosyncrasies. A good basic rule is never flush anything that you haven’t first eaten unless it’s marine system-approved toilet paper.

Conserve water. Even on large yachts the fresh water supply is limited. It is easy to forget this since you probably don’t worry too much about it at home. I can almost guarantee that your skippers will be paying more attention to the water running out the drain than whatever exciting story you are telling them while you do the dishes if you leave the water running.
It is considered good behavior to check with the skippers before showering since consuming quantities of hot water affects everyone on board. Your skippers might tell you to shower whenever you want, but they are far more likely to suggest a time for showering based on the water supply and system for water heating. In either case, it is always appropriate to shower in “installments” to both reduce the quantity of water you use and to conserve the hot water supply so the rest of the crew can get a hot shower, too. This just means you get wet first, then turn off the water while you shampoo and lather yourself, then turn the water back on to rinse off. It might seem a little awkward at first, but you’ll get used to it and it will keep your fellow crew members happy. It may also allow your hosts to choose to stay anchored out an extra night instead of hightailing it to the marina to replenish the water tank.

Contain your stuff. As soon as you come aboard, stow your belongings in whatever space is provided for you. Remember that you will likely be in very “close quarters” on the boat. Most boats have far less room than almost any home, so it is more important than ever to keep your personal items stowed and out of the way. This is partially an aesthetic thing (who wants to live among someone else’s clutter?) but it is also a safety issue. Your wayward belongings, like shoes for instance, can easily trip up another crew member. My brother, now the captain of a 76-foot yacht, likes to say, “everything that has a place should be stowed; everything else should stay ashore.”

Securely stow items and latch all cupboards, drawers, and doors. This is probably not a habit that you have had to develop at home, but on a boat it is crucial. Picture this scenario: you are motoring along on a beautiful, calm sunny day enjoying the scenery. You have just passed a big cruise ship heading toward the city, and you enjoyed seeing the passengers wave at you from the high-up decks, imagining their envy of your private cruise. Suddenly, the small boat you are on starts to tip one way, then, more violently, it tips the other way and you hear a huge crash from the galley. As the boat tips back yet again, the cupboard next to you swings wide and its contents fire out at your head!
It’s easy to see the danger here. Even if the wind and sea conditions are favorable, you are likely to run across some large waves caused by another boat’s wake. I remember one particularly frightening event when we unexpectedly took some large waves directly on our beam. Everything that wasn’t properly secured slid with a crash to the floor: a noisy tray of silverware, a new laptop computer, and a fresh cup of black coffee. Even the salon couch tipped over. Fortunately no one was hurt, but it was a great reminder. There is a very good reason why every boat is designed so that drawers, closets, and cupboards can be latched securely into position.

Stay out of the way. I remember one guest, a well-loved friend, who seemed continually to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’d be moving quickly to handle a line or grab the binoculars or answer the VHF, and she’d be standing smack dab in the middle of the only available path. She’d see me, but didn’t seem to understand that she needed to move so that I could pass by her. I’d have to ask her to move every time. By the end of the week, I felt crazy! Again, the close quarters of virtually all boats come into play. Because of the generally smaller space, the passageways on boats are often narrow. If you want to be oblivious, go lie down in your bunk. Otherwise, choose places to sit or stand that are out of traffic paths and always step out of the way to allow others to pass easily.

Make yourself available to help with boat duties. That means being on deck and ready to handle lines when pulling into port or offering to handle the blackwater hose at the pumpout station. Just like at home, there is a never-ending list of things to do on a boat. But many duties, like properly setting the anchor, for instance, can be a lot more critical to safety than most daily home chores. Listen carefully and follow the skippers’ instructions. The trick here is to be immediately available to help out while at the same time not getting in the way. Learn this and you’ll be high on everyone’s guest list.

Pick an area of responsibility and get good at it. The skippers will appreciate it, and you will feel better if you have some specialty on board, whether it is handling the anchor, running the dinghy, cooking, assisting with navigation, or keeping the windows clean. It can be anything. I remember one great guest who took it upon himself to always handle running the stern line to shore when we anchored. Usually this duty involves taking the dinghy to shore with one end of the line and finding a rock or tree to tie off to. In a warm bay once, the motor on the dinghy wouldn’t start right away. This athletic guest was not to be deterred. He grabbed the line in his teeth, dove off the stern, swam strongly to shore, and quickly secured the line on a good tree. This was not only helpful, but provided great entertainment as well!
If you don’t feel so agile, you might offer to be in charge of another function or system. One of the less glamorous jobs, but always important, is the removal of garbage. Cruising with friends for a week is sort of like having a week-long party. Imagine the garbage that would create, and then remember how limited space is on all but the biggest of vessels.
Even without guests on board, trash disposal is always an issue when cruising. Every time you arrive at a new dock, there will be more trash to dispose of. If you take charge of disposing of all the trash and recycling, your skippers will love you for it—guaranteed.
When our Costco-shopping friend left the boat (by seaplane), we happened to be in a remote area of British Columbia. Back then, the preferred method of getting rid of the trash (this was years ago) was to row ashore and burn it at low tide. Before he left, our friend had managed to eat all of the bacon and a lot of the mayonnaise, but there were still a dozen or so Twinkies left on board. So we piled them with all of the trash in a heap on the beach and lit a good hot fire. To our amazement, even after the pop and beer cans were incinerated, the Twinkies endured. We had to haul them back to the boat and carry them with us for the next week until we found a proper trash station. Moral of the story? Twinkies are forever!

Wear clean shoes with soft, non-marking soles. One of the first things my dad often notices about guests is their shoes. Good skippers like to keep their boats clean and polished. Sometimes, street shoes and even some sneakers will leave dark marks on a fiberglass deck that need to be rubbed out with a polishing compound. If you are careful with your shoe choice, you can help keep the boat clean and scuff-free. Also, don’t wear your dirty beach shoes inside, or even outside, the boat. Take them off on the swimstep, and then either clean them off each time after your beach walk, or else ask the skipper where to stow them—usually in a cockpit lazarette. I remember a fellow guest on one cruise who made it her business to keep the entire crew’s shoes clean. Every time she noticed a few dirty pairs on the swimstep, she’d get out a scrub brush and work on the soles until they were grit-free. Our hosts were so appreciative to see that lineup of clean shoes!

Help clean the boat at the end of the cruise. This is basic, but often forgotten. It’s likely that your stateroom and head will be spotless when you arrive; make sure they’re spotless when you leave. Show your gratitude by hanging around to help. (Certain relatives of ours, who shall remain anonymous, always seemed to have somewhere to go the minute the boat cruised into port: a doctor’s appointment, a dinner engagement, some game tickets, an ailing friend who suddenly needed bedside attention. The reasons all sounded perfectly plausible individually, but over the years the pattern started looking just a bit suspicious!) It takes just a few minutes to thoroughly wipe down your head. Then offer to vacuum and dust at least your own cabin or bunk area as well. If there is a washer/dryer on board, run your sheets through it. If not, discuss whether you can help by going to the Laundromat. Don’t leave the boat until you’re sure that you’ve done your part.

Finally, Always
Be aware. If these rules have one thing in common, it is to be aware of what’s going on around you. One great luxury of life ashore is that often we can tune out with few adverse consequences. But you wouldn’t do that while driving a car, and you certainly can’t do it while operating a boat either. Even as a passenger, there are just too many things to do, and too many potential risks, not to pay attention to what’s going on. Sometimes all that’s required is to be quiet and listen. The skippers will be carefully watching for wind, wave, and weather changes, other vessel traffic, rocks or other submerged hazards, and a whole host of other potential hazards, while at the same time monitoring the boat’s systems and making sure the guests are safe and have what they need. By using all your senses, including your common sense, you can ease the burden on the skippers and allow everyone on board to have more fun. And after all, isn’t that what boating is all about?

About The Author
Kristi Larson grew up in a Seattle boating family and has spent nearly every summer since she was in diapers cruising in Puget Sound, the San Juan and Gulf Islands, Desolation Sound, and Queen Charlotte Strait areas. Over the years, her family has owned and chartered a variety of boats, from the small wooden sailboat they first owned to the Grand Banks 36 and then Tollycraft 48 they owned in more recent years. In addition to spending lots of time in Washington and British Columbia cruising waters, over the years Kristi has cruised the length of the Pacific coast between Glacier Bay and Cabo San Lucas. During 2007, she cruised on the Turkish coast in a chartered sailboat and she participated in the FUBAR rally (San Diego to Cabo San Lucas) aboard the Nordhavn 76, Cadenza.